Today i would be 16 weeks pregnant....but as most of you know God has other plans for me and my little one. If this is your first time here you can find the story here. Its been a journey for the last three months and ive had my ups and downs but i must say im still here and still going strong.
When i first heard the words ectopic and no hope 3 months ago i was devastated. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I had heard about it or so many people having miscarriages but i never thought it would happen to me but it did. I lost my little angel at only 4 weeks to an ectopic pregnancy. I know why it happened and ive accepted it... it was inevitable and would of happened sooner or later. The problem is fixed now and i go back to the doc at the end of this month for post surgery ultra sound and make sure everything is ok.
Honeslty. This is the third time i have rescheduled the appointment. I dont know why but i have this fear that something happened and its going to be bad news. I guess its just my thoughts running away but its a possibility that i may not be able to have kids after this... My mom said the doc said my left tube was healthy and fertile so well see at the follow up... i cant prolong it forever right??
As far as depression goes.... none. I am perfectly fine to be around babies, i dont get sad or go mia everytime i find out a friend is pregnant... so far its only been 2. I dont get mad and ask why when i see other pregnant women. Its odd really... its almost like it had a reverse effect on me. I love seeing pregnant women, babies and hear about friends being pregnant... i know my time will come one day and until it does i have my friends babys and their pregnancy journey to keep me busy outside of work.
Ive honestly had a little of the baby fever going around recently but im not acting on it! I have a few more things i have to do before im ready for a baby and for starters it would be to get into a relationship and build it up to the point to where we are ready for a baby. You can't just go out having one night stands until you get pregnant that would be a little weird dont you think? My time will come when it comes and i am in NO HURRY for it to get here. Patience is a virtue in this world. LOL
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